it is time...

I would like to say I've had a lot on, but I haven't. I've just been slack. But, I s'pose it's time I actually added something here.

And now for the big news for the month. I'm off to the UK in 12 days! I'm pretty stoked. I'm down right ecstatic to tell the truth.

I'll fly out of Sydney on the 24th of December, landing in Singapore for an hour or so, then on to England to arrive at Heathrow airport at 5.50am on the 25th. Then I'll be staying in London till the 2nd of Jan. My mates J and Mish have graciously offered me some floor space for a few nights. Both live in Manchester, so I'll stay at J's a few nights, and Mish's a few nights, then maybe fork out for a backpackers in London for a few more. Then it's off to Switzerland! Bea's going to meet me at the airport in Zurich, then we'll catch a train or bus up to Frauenfeld. I'll be staying there until the 26th of Jan, and I expect to freeze my arse off. So 3 weeks of (attempting) snowboarding, building snowmen and trying not to make an ass of myself in front of Bea's family & friends. It should be great. And then I'm back through London and Bankok to finally arrive back home in Sydney on the 27th of Jan. 2 days rest, then back to work.

I'll be taking my laptop, and mum and Dave are kind enough to let me use their old camera, so I'll update my blog as I go. Assuming of course I have the time and can find a net connection, otherwise it'll just be one big blog and photo posting session when I get back.

Well, I'm off to cook dinner. See y'all on the flip side.

ignore this post...

I'm only putting this up here so I can change my profile pic. Stupid blogger wont let you upload a pic as a profile image nooooo, you have to link it to a pre-existing image on the web....

I'm not slack....

I am just too happy of late to have any gripes with the world.

I know you all (all 2 of you, actually I have no idea if ANYONE actually reads my drivel aside from Pees & Sez) enjoy my rantings, but seriously, there is nothing "grinding my gears" at the moment. I'm going to go and read some news websites and see if I can find anything that pisses me off so I can put up a new post.

So, till then, have a gander at:

http://www.neatorama.com/2006/10/31/lies-your-mother-told-you/

Ok, they aren't specific to your mother, but most people have been told these untruths by someone, at some stage in their upbringing.

All alone.......

My two flat-mates leave this weekend. One is sailing on Monday. He wont be back till mid-December. And the other one is going to New Zealand for 5 weeks on a course.

So I'm going to have the place all to myself, which will be nice. But oh so boring. How am I supposed to have a beer when I get home from work now? I can't drink it alone, it's just not right.

6 Reasons Why...

The Top Six Reasons Why... The $5.50 meals ($7.90 Thursday & Friday) at the Maroubra Surf Club are better than 2 sausages on bread outside of Bunnings. (As if I would even have to bother)

Carly (or at least the folks at Carly's work) have put it out there, that the crappy 2 sausages on bread you get from the Bunnings carpark on a saturday, are BETTER than the $5.50 local surf club meal.

Here are six reasons (6 not 10, 'cause I could only think of 6) as to why the sausage barbie could never hold a flame to the counter meal at the club.

6. - It's a bit of sausage, and a bit of bread. Common. Seriously.

5. - Entertainment. OK, I will admit, the Bunnings carpark can be entertaining. Especially when some snotty-nosed little shit takes a fall. But there's no consistency. At the club, you know you're going to get a B-Grade (sometimes C-Grade) musical act every night. And it's great.

4. - The crowd. At Bunnings some the most colourful people come out. The bloke who swears black & blue to the missus that he can fix the toilet/sink/washer/supercomputer. He just needs the right tools. But how can that compare to old Charlie, who was at the club before Captain Cook was a Captain. He knows the deal. And if you ever want to know anything about anything in the world of gossip, then you can ask Charlie's wife, Maevis.

3. - The Good Old Aussie Meat Tray. Honestly, I think this point seals the deal. Even if the food was shit (which it's not), the music was terrible (which it is), and the atmosphere was dull (which it sorta is), the meat tray raffle would still carry the Surf Club over the line as a clear winner. It's MEAT! And lots of it. They gave out 4 sides of lamb on Thursday! How can you even start to think that Bunnings could beat that? Are you simple!?

2. - I haven't even mentioned the food at the club yet. And I don't think I have to. The previous 4 points carry it over the line. Sausage and bread Vs. the Chicken Bacon and Tomato melted cheese on top. No contest.

1. - $2.00? For a bit of bread and a snag? Tell 'im he's dreamin'.

Maroubra Beach Seals Club

So I figured I'd go check out what all the fuss is about. If anyone has been reading my sister Sarah's blog, you may have read about the "el-cheapo" meals they have on offer down at the Maroubra Beach surf club.

Now I wasn't expecting a 5 star meal for $5.50. And I certainly didn't get a 5 star meal. But what I did get was a huge feed. I was definately fulfilled when my plate was empty. A nice ratio of chicken to chips. The addition of tomato sauce to the chips definately brought out the flavour of the chips, or was it the tomato in the sauce..? Hard to say really. But in any case, it's possibly the 2nd best $5.50 meal I've ever had.

But I'm rambling, as the meal was hardly the high-light of the night. The draw card was definately the good old fashioned Aussie meat tray raffle (of course not including the chance to have a long over due beer with my sister). Seriously though, the meat tray raffle was huge. They gave out at least 15 trays. And 4 of them were a side of lamb. Now that's what I call a prize.

When I walked up to the girl who was selling the tickets, I had $4 in my pocket. 6 numbers for $1. Bargain. So i walked away with 24 numbers and a vey comfy feeling that I might just win some meat.

As they started drawing the numbers in the "random" number generator, I began to realise that my odds were very slim. There seemed to be a lot of people, with A LOT of numbers. Like, groups that had pooled together over $100 to buy a crap-load of tix.

The atmosphere was electric as the first 10 numbers were called. I was so close. At one point, I was only 200 numbers off. Damn, the rush of it all was just intense.

Well, I could rubbish on about the excitement, but I dare say it'd be quite boring to read. So instead I'll cut to the point and let you know that I came home meat-less.

Well there's always monday night. BINGO! What are the lovely prizes they're giving out? Why more meat trays of course! If the surf club becomes a bit of a tradition, I may have to invest in a deep freezer to keep all my meat tray fresh.

*** as a side note *** Sarah called the Surf club an "RSL" which it isn't. I'm not poking fun at her. Far from it. I'm actually saving her reputation. Since her admission that she likes to punch people in the face, I thought I'd re-affirm that she ain't no bogan, A.

Happy snaps

Well, as you may have noticed there aren't any pics of the party up yet. Mostly because I have no idea who had a camera there. But also because anyone who would have had a camera there I haven't seen all week. Rest assured, to anyone that is interested, as soon as I have pics, the appropriate (if there are any) will be posted.

Pimps & Hos, oh what a night...

So. Last night was the celebration of my mate's 19th birthday. She decided to have a pimps & hos party which was hosted at my place. It was a helluva shin-dig. We didn't have a huge turn-out of people, only about 15 or so. But a brilliant night. We spent most of the night sitting/standing around, looking like pimps, and hos. Some very interesting conversations took place. It was around 4am when we started the deep and meaningful convo about the pros and cons of a communist society. Quite strange.

And of course, the night brought on the first formal complaint from building management. It would seem that we were a little too noisy. But still the night was totally worth it.

Standby for photos, I'll upload them in the next few days.

It's food Jim, but not as we know it...

Before I start, if you picked up on the Star Trek quote (Spock says to Captain Kirk "it's life Jim, but not as we know it...") I'm not a trekkie. Just wanted to clarify that. I don't think I've even seen a full episode. I think I actually picked it up from the "Star Trekkin" song. You know the one. Just sing it to yourself for a bit. HAH! Now it's stuck in YOUR head. Welcome to my pain, that bastard song has been looping in my head all morning.

But I'm already off topic before I've even started.

My sister put up a new blog on her page last nite (http://adventuresofsez.blogspot.com). Regarding the amount of crapola in the food that we eat these days. It's quite a coincidence that she did, as this morning one of the girls at work was talking about how paranoid she is about eating anything with trans fats in it.

It seems that these trans fats are the new scare. They've been around for donkey's years, but it seems that the Today Tonight show was low on ideas for a story, so they brought up the old "is your food killing you?" chestnut. But more on trans fats later.

As Sarah pointed out in her blog, it's actually VERY hard to find any "food" these days that hasn't been "enhanced" chemically.

Processed foods are ubiquitous. A McDonalds, KFC, Hungry Jacks, Red Rooster in every suburb, sometimes two. On the super-market shelves there's 2 minutes noodles, easy mac, lean quisine, pies & sausage rolls, instant mashed potato, instant coffee, SPAM, canned brasied steak and onions, tinned spaghetti.

Ok, so you want to avoid nasty chemicals in your diet, just don't eat the instant crap, right? Well, apparently wrong.

You look at the ingredients on any box you pick up, from cereal to stock cubes, and chances are you'll find a list of ingredients that include a variety of numbers. Now I'm not sure about you, but I don't grow a shrub of "colour agent 704" in the vegie patch out in the back yard. Probably because you have to "grow" such an ingredient in the lab.

Ok, so nothing with numbers in the ingredients. How about a can of tuna? Wait, we've polluted the oceans with various shi*t, including heavy metals. When an organism consumes mercury, it becomes an accumulative substance in the body. Shrimp pick up mercury in the food they eat, small fish that eat the shrimp then carry it, and so on up the food chain. Now since tuna is a predatory fish close to the top of the food chain, the buck stops there. Well almost. I love tuna.

How about bread & water only? Nope, you're screwed there too. Of course we all know about the "quality" of the drinking water in our major cities. But bread's pretty innocent right? Of course it's not. Otherwise I wouldn't have brought it up. Do you remember 15 years ago, a loaf of bread would last 2-3 days on the kitchen bench before the mould would start to form? I bought a loaf of bread from Coles 11 days ago, and the remaining slices still look as fresh as the day I bought them. It's amazing how well those preservatives work. So if you spend a few extra minutes looking for a loaf that doesn't have these preservatives, you better look at the level of trans fats as well.

The FDA made it mandatory, as of January 1st 2006, for all food companies in the US to seperately list the level of trans fats in any product. It turns out this stuff is bad for you. No word yet on whether Australia's food watchdog will enforce a similar policy. Oh and by the way, now you have another reason to not eat margarine, not only does it taste terrible, but it's packed full of lovely trans fats.
(If you're interested http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trans_fat)

So how can you avoid all the nasty chemicals in your diet?

Start a farm, control all water and fertiliser that you are using so that it contains no chemicals. Don't forget to check the soil for chemicals the previous land owner may have used, some of them never break down. Spend hours a day picking bugs off your crop because you can't use pesticides. No eating meat or dairy products, cause it turns out there are naturally occuring levels of trans fats in them too.

Or you could just stop eating.

Niether of these options sound very appealing to me. Looks like my food will kill me.

But hang on, people have been eating this sort of stuff (and worse) for decades. In America at 1901 the life expectancy was 49 years. At the end of the century it was 77 years, an increase of 57%. Not a bad rise considering all the crap they eat.

Yes I know there have been advances in medicine. But the numbers don't lie. A nation of people that eat the most processed garbage on earth, and the average Joe lives to 77 years old.

Ugg the Neanderthal was lucky if he made 21 years old, and I don't think there was any monosodium glutamate (MSG) in the mammoth stir fry.

The moral to the story is, everything we eat is bad for us. But if you eat it (and you live in a first world country) you can still live to a ripe old age.
Just take it easy on the double bacon, triple cheese, extra mayo, two grease pattie whopper, unless you have a super-size fries cooked in a hydrogenated vegetable oil on the side for good measure.

WTF America?!

If you saw the CNN homepage at the time I was writing this, you would've seen (among a few others) these three head lines.

- School Siege: hostage, gunman die
- House Passes Terror detainee bill
and
- How to turn over a 600kg cheese

I don't understand. Unfortunately I can't watch this cheese story video at work, so I have no idea what exactly is entailed in the story about the turning of the cheese. However, if it is what I think it is, I should like to know why it was the sixth listed headline in the top stories menu.

For those of you who were unaware, Typhoon Xangsane hit the Phillipines yesterday. 3 people died. But for some reason, it was listed 8th in the top stories. Why is turning a 600kg block of cheese more news worthy than a tropical storm that left 3 dead, many injured and quite a number homeless?

I only went to the CNN site to learn about the school shooting in Denver. I wanted to know what I was talking about before I began my rant on the gun laws and social situation in America which allowed yet another school shooting to occur. But this brought me to this point.

You know the "Most Popular Stories"? Those would be the ones that get the most views from the most people. And they are listed as follows:

1. Story about Denver school shooting
2. Terri Irwin's vow to continue Steve's (RIP) work
3. Woman asks to be 3rd legal parent
4. Too much testosterone kills brain cells
5. Greece adds prostitutes to GDP
6. Saudis plan fence to block Iraq's terrorists
7. Dubbya meets with squabbling allies (George "Dubbya" Bush for those who aren't savy with the Aussie slang).
8. Zero-Gravity surgery a success
9. Bankok fiannly opens their much delayed "Air-Hub"
10. New Japan PM to boost China ties

Are you picking up a problem here? Two of the top 3 stories are tripe. Heart strings pulling rubbish. This is just stupid. I had an American ask me the other day, "why is it that you Aussies hate us Americans so much?".

First of all, I don't hate America or Americans, let's make that clear. With that said, I don't like them either. I haven't met an American yet that I've liked. And I will tell you why.

Every single American I have come across fits the OC stigma. They are more concerned about bullsh*t stories with little violins playing in the background than real life issues. The Canadian lesbain who wants to be a legal parent, or the struggle of Terri Irwin dealing with Steve's (RIP) death. These should be 12th page stories, not the top 10 news headlines for today.

That's just the start of it. Have you ever watched the tonight show with Jay Leno? Personally I don't like his humour much, but there's a great segment where they go roaming the streets asking people questions about current world issues.

These people are clueless. Most of them don't even know whether their country is at war with Iran, Iraq or Khazakstan. But if you ask them whether Brad and Angelina are still together, they would be able to give you a play-by-play of every event leading up to the eventual celebrity break-up. It's really quite ridiculous.

I think the most frustrating thing of all, is that I can see people in Australia that are going the same way. It would have to be my biggest annoyance. Not stupidity, but ignorance. They have the mental capacity, they just don't care. It seems they've been using the block of news each evening as a chance to cook dinner between the day-time soaps, the arfternoon game shows, and night-time soaps.

Who's to blame for all this? Is it schools, parents, government or society in general?

I think this requires more brain power than I'm prepared to use at this time of the day. It's only an hour till knock off, then if I hurry home I can catch 'Days of our Lives' and 'Young and the Restless'.

- coops

Just too busy

I can understand now why Pees doesn't update her blog (http://carlzp.blogspot.com) that often. It's really quite hard to find the time. That and it has been difficult lately for me to get on a good rant, I think I've just been too content with life. But today I think I'm in the right mindset.

I'm quite disappointed at today's block-buster (or lack-luster) movie scene. I mean honestly, what has Hollywood put out lately that was of any worth.

I think the Hollywood producers have caught on to the "1000 monkeys in a room with 1000 typewriters could come up with Shakespeare" concept and ran with it. Except they were too cheap to pay for any more than 10 monkeys and the scripts now reflect.

Perhaps I'm being too harsh. There have been SOME passable movies in the last few years. There just doesn't seem so be a great number of them coming to mind at the moment.

Ok, so over the last year there was Pirates of the Caribean 2, Munich, Lord of War and.... Nope, that's pretty much it. Ok, sure there were some others that might have been a 4 out of 5 stars too, but all in all not a memorable piece of cinema came out of main-stream Hollywood in the past 12 months.

You know how long ago Humphrey Bogart said "Here's lookin at you kid" or Igrid Bergman said "Play it Sam"? Sixty Four years! Casablanca was made in 1942! People that were born 40 years after the movie was made still know those quotes. Can you imagine, in 64 years time, someone going "why is the rum gone?" and have someone else recognise that is was from Pirates of the Caribbean? Not bloody likely.

So what am I going to do about this? Nothing. I'm no author. But that's not going to stop me bitching about it. Surely though there are some writers out there that still have some GOOD new ideas.

Which reminds me... WTF!!! Who the hell decided it would be a good idea to take the works of Shakespeare, and "adapt" them into a f*cking idiotic, hormone fuelled teen-romp!?!?!?!

- Romeo & Juliet (Baz Luhrmann, 1996). Ok, not bad, at least they stuck to the script and story line. Nice work Baz.

- 10 Things I Hate About You (Gil Junger, 1999). So, you've taken "Taming the Shrew" and turned it into complete and utter drivel. Tsk tsk tsk. I'm not angry Gil, I'm just disappointed.

- Get Over It (Tommy O'Haver, 2001). NO! Bad dog! I cannot believe the bastard's have ruined "a Midsummer Night's Dream". Oh my god they just keep getting worse. And that was one of my favourites.

- She's the Man (Andy Fickman, 2006) Oh crap, not "Twelfth Night" too... Now, I haven't seen this particular movie, and until I'm EXTREMELY bored and there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING else to do, will I ever see this movie (it was under these circumstances that I saw "10 Things" & "Get Over It"), but I'd wager that it is just as amazingly crap-tacular as they were.

Honestly, these stories are classics. They have stood the test of time, there is no need to change them into yet another stupid teen romp. If they insist on using a little artistic lisence, why can't they come up with their own idea and ruin that, rather than destroying a work of genius.

Someone must stop these people, before they get their hands on the works of Geoffrey Chaucer.

Well, that's my rant for today. So until the next time I feel rather annoyed at nothing in particular, adieu.

Rant - Pt. 1

Ok, so it's been a while since I wrote anything here. When I wrote that first comment, I really did have nothing on at work. But how things change. For the last few months work has been very full on, so now it's nice that we're in a bit of a lull. Who knows how long it will last tho…?

So to take full advantage of this slow period, last week I took some time off work and flew home to Brisbane. Two of my mates, Isaac and Christy, began their 18 months of travelling the world yesterday. So I thought I should go home to see them off. What a week...

Off topic for a sec, this is a pic of me and my mate Jo.

Arriving on Monday around lunch, I collected my bag and headed out to the drop-off/pick-up area, then proceeded to wait, watching out for Logie's blue convertible audi... And continued to wait. Then waited some more. Then I hear a familiar voice from behind me. "Get your arse in the car, wanker". It's Isaac. Turns out Logie isn't driving his blue convertible, he seems to have traded it for a very sensible white audi station wagon...

Hmm, must be a loan car, Logie isn’t widely known for his sensible decisions. I've missed the lads. It's been about 6 months since I've seen ‘em.

From the airport we proceeded to the FDO (Factory Direct Outlet). Although Isaac is flying to Greece in 6 days time, he hasn't begun to pack. This is probably because he has nothing to pack into. The dickhead hasn't got any luggage. To the luggage store! After a half-hour of annoying the girl in the shop, we decided none of the backpacks she was showing us really worked, and that her patience was running a little too thin. We decided to deal with the luggage problem later, for now it seemed we had a bigger problem. The tide was about to start going out, and we were dangerously sober.

If you get stuck on the out-going tide without a drink, it is not a good position to be in. Majority of the time, you have to wait until the tide comes back in before you can get a drink. Not willing to take the risk, we leave FDO, and head to the bottle shop.

Twelve cans of ‘Bundy, dry & lime’. Tragedy averted.

Too be continued...

welcome

Hello to all and sundry.

As you can see there's not a great deal here just now. I'm in the process of figuring out exactly what I plan on doing with this space. I'm thinking about going with a theme of... Random funny crap, senseless bitching, useless facts and of course unprovoked flaming of people in the public eye.

So, on with the show.

- c00p.